I'm OVER it!

I never wanted a big wedding. Really. People think that I am just lying or being dramatic when I say that, but my most favorite weddings in the gazillion of weddings I have been to, are the small ones. There was one moment when Joe and I first started dating and we went to a wedding with almost 350 people and he said…”this is a perfect size.” At that point in time, I already knew I wanted to be with him forever and I think we had basically decided that we were “together” for the long haul, but I basically said to myself that I never had to be “married.” Not because I didn’t want to be Joe’s wife; I just did not want a huge wedding. And never once in all the time that Joe and I were dating did I pressure him to be married. Not once.

Then there was the huge Brangelina thing. (Yes, Joe and I were together before Brangelina!) They were together with a family doing their thing. I just wanted to be like Brangelina. Why not?

Well, this is why not. We are from huge Catholic families and even though we have been living in sin…we have to get married…in a church…and then have a family…immediately. Why? Well, because that is what we do and that is what I want to do, I JUST DON’T WANT A HUGE WEDDING!!!

With the wedding less than three months away…I have decided to GET OVER IT. I will have a huge wedding. I will wear a white (it’s ivory) dress. I will wear a veil. Actually, two veils. I have one for the ceremony and one for the reception. (That is me being dramatic…I had to buy two veils!) We will waste money even though we are in a recession. Really? Really, I can’t believe it.

It may not be the wedding I have always dreamed of…the fearless and intimate wedding that is more about Joe and me, but it will be special, crazy, and very powerful…and the pictures will be great. :) I know that everyone will have a great time...and then I get to leave for Jamaica for 9 days! It won’t necessarily represent our marriage…which I hope to be similar to our 6 and half year relationship so far… fearless, intimate, real and private. Also, from this point forward…I will not complain or cry…I am over it.

Can you tell I am talking myself into this? Or is this cold feet? I don’t know!! :)